July 2023
Nostalgia & Parenthood
Ben exploring, Elle following her big brother…
I have a distinct memory as a 4 year old in '87 sitting in the backseat of my Mom’s maroon station wagon. My Grandfather won it in a raffle and gave it to her. It was one of those station wagons that the 'way back' seat faced backwards. The windows were all rolled down. Abundant sunshine shined through and salty sea air swirled all around me. The music was loud for my tiny ears. My mom was in ‘feel good’ cruise mode, on our way to the beach. She was in big sunglasses and had big hair to match, considering it was the 80's. I watched her hair whip around as we sang, “All I need is a miracle” by Mike and the Mechanics. As every line came up, she’d look to me in the back seat and belt each line out. I wasn’t a spectator in her new band. I was on lead vocals with her. We both laughed, sang, smiled from ear to ear as we sped toward the Pacific ocean. It’s one of my earliest (and happiest) memories. Top of mind now, maybe more than ever because she’s gone and here I am as a Dad of four. This memory washed over me recently as I was on my way to surf for the first time in 11 months. I got off the 5 freeway and headed West. I crested the hill on Del Mar Heights road and BOOM! There it was - big blue - the ocean as far as the eye can see. It's not a surprise the memory popped up. Trust me, it’s not the first time I’ve put on ‘All I need is a Miracle’, put the windows down, and transformed myself back to lead vocals. I play a pretty mean air keyboard to boot.
That memory with my Mom is pure joy. I have often thought about the significance of THAT particular song. My Mom’s life was full of miracles. However, at that particular time in life she was about to be a single Mom with two small babies, my sister having been born in April of ’86. I wonder how lonely she felt. All of her family was 2,000 miles away back home in Iowa. She was trying to make it in Redondo Beach with no help except her best friend from home, my Aunt Cindy. My assumption is she was trying to figure out how the heck she was going to work and take care of two littles ones. Perhaps, she started praying for a miracle.
Nostalgia is a powerful thing. Ask Disney! They’ve been cashing in on it for a century.
What is it about having a nostalgic experience as you’re growing up that makes you want to pass that on to your children? If somehow, some way, I can share this moment with my kids without their eyes rolling back in their head. AND by some miraculous act of God they understand and appreciate how much it meant to me. I’m not sure there is happiness beyond that. I hope that my kids will have some nostalgic memories of our family and that they will desperately want to pass those memories on to their kids.
Sharing experiences I loved as a kid with my kids is maybe the thing I’m looking forward to most.
I love watching my kids faces as they witness new things for the first time. I can’t wait to teach them more about the ocean - to show them how to surf, body surf, and boogie board. To this day, I’m not sure I’ve ever topped that feeling of speeding toward the shoreline on a boogie board, desperate to scream “woohooo!” as I blow by my brother and sister… cheers to nostalgia.